Hope is The Door to Knowledge

Someone once told me that if we don't have a knowledge of something,
we should hope for it.
Hope for the things you desire for life.
Hope for a testimony of things
Hope for the best of People.
Hope for best friends in life.
Hope that you will be happy.
Once you've grown old, and wise.
You'll notice, if you're happy.
You'll still have hope,
And you'll still be beautiful.
At least to me you will be.

Dear me,
Stop feeling so hallow,
and looking so low.
Stop being so tired,
so lazy, so idle.
Stop worrying,
you're doing just fine.
You're not in trouble,
you're not in danger,
you're not depressed,
you're not ugly,
and your amazing.
Sincerely, You're beautiful!

walked away

Warm tears rolled down my face,
across my cold cheek,
a lump in my throat appears.
I don't want this!
you yelled at me,
I just want what's best for you,
why don't you? I ask in a puzzled way.
it's too hard, it's too much,
I just can't live up to it... quietly you said.
You don't have to, just do your best!
I know, you know
this is true.
I love you, and I want to be with you forever!
I don't just want you here, I want you there.
After this... I want you always!
You're my best friend.
I can't do this, it's too hard... you whispered as you walked away.

soilders

Dear soldiers

Brave, and true, you bleed the red, white, and blue

you battled for freedom without a name.

Believe you me, it wasn't in vain.

You suffered the pain that came,

now and then

scars, and battle wounds

haunt you still.

Some of you lay in a cemetery

a dedicated cross, lay above your head.

On Arlington grounds your battle ends.

You are now at ease.

You left to serve your country,

to protect the ones you love.

You left for honor and pride.

And for this some of you died.

The wives, the mothers, the sisters

were all here for you, are still here for you.

They love you whether you lived or died.

Your part was still amazing,

Dear saints, and soldiers

brave, and true, you bleed the Red, white, and Blue.

You battle for freedom, with one name.

Believe you me, it won't be in vain.

By being Brace, and True.

You help preserve the Red, White, and Blue.

Anger

Why do we get angry?
well, I always wondered this...
so I did a little thinking, and found somethings out.
When I'm angry, I'm rash, uncomfortable, unkind, sick, maybe even a little nauseous, ugly, mean, jealous, bitter, and I'm pretty sure, I'm glaring like 99% of the time. And well that might not matter now, but in like 60 years it will be a problem... it'll give me wrinklies! :O
What do you gain from being angry?
I personally gain, a bad reputation, and a bad feeling.
Oh and did I mention, that after you are done being angry, you get a gift basket for free, filled with remorse, guilt, and embarrassment.
So I have decided not to be angry anymore.
How? by letting things go. I know that this is going to be a challenge for me, but I'm going to accept it, and deal with it. I even already have.
Once upon a time, me and this one girl didn't get a long, she would start rumors about herself, and blame them on me. She would always cry for attention, in the worse ways. And she wouldn't accept anyone's friendship, even if we were on our knees. Well I got a little upset at her, just a little seed, planted in my heart. Over the years. That seed began to grow, and the violence of it would show. The seed one day, grew into a nasty ugly flower, that had blossomed. That little angry, had grown to a flower of hatred, and anger. I tried cutting it out, but it wouldn't work. So what did I do to get rid of this terrible flower?
First, I desired it to be gone, forever that terrible feeling, I would have whenever she was around me. Second, I cryed, cryed and mourned of what I would have to go through. Third, I acted, I got on my knees, and I prayed with a heart full of desire, and love, and change. I so badly wanted that feeling to be gone! After weeks of this, I noticed that the feelings were fading, into a numb feeling. And the flower inside of me had begun to die. It was working, that magic tool was working. :D I would cry, and pray in relief that it was going... but I still prayed, and cried, for it to keep dying.
After a while, it was gone, the flower, the stem, and roots, were all gone. And all that was left was a little hole. For a while this hold wasn't filled, with nothing but numbing.
But now it is filled with a little seed, a little seed, of the greatest thing in the world.

Having Hope

Hope is sometimes the only thing we have left for us,
Hope is the light of my day, when it comes to night.
And I kneel and pray.
Hope, and faith.
Faith, is one of the components of a prayer.
Faith is the one that assures me that he's there.
Hope, Faith, and Joy.
Joy fills me to the brim,
when I know that he cares.
Hope, Faith, Joy, and Pain.
Without Pain I wouldn't know,
these things..
Hope let's me go through the pain.
Faith helps me get over the pain..
and Joy, Joy is what I feel, after the pain.
the satisfaction I get from that pain I once had.
That has now turned to Joy.
Is totally worth, the hard times, the bad and. The pain.

how can we be better?

What does it mean to be better?
does it mean to be trying each and every day, but you're not giving it your all?
Or does it mean, trying each and every day, and you're giving it your all?
I think it's option number two.
Image yourself that you're at the person who did the most for yous, feet.
you're crying sobbing, and just wailing. because you got second place Exhaltation.
Next image yourself, at your savior's feet, crying, tears running down your face, and a smile is across your face. saying.... "I missed you."
Imagine if you can. That your in heaven, right in your Kolob, standing by your everlasting partner. Holding hands, hugging, kissing.
And you know that forever you will have this person. Because one day in your tiny little earth life. You and this person made a covenant with the God who will give you this amazing gift.

Do you want this dream, that can be yours, and mine realities... if we do our best.

3

Days, weeks, pass slowly.
as the time goes on my heart
begins to heal the
hole in my heart is filled now.
I found happiness here, now.

2

My mouth fills up with
saliva, and my nose starts
to run, while tears fill
me whole, this is a contrite
spirit ready to change now,

haiku?

Cold Feelings take me
on a journey of sadness
wishing for warmth I
get on my knees while crying
begging, forgiveness met me.

"We Can Find Happiness"

I Ashley Rose
am finding my happiness.
Not through money, games, toys, or foes.
Come on take a guess how
I Ashley Rose
am finding my own happiness.
Not by being jealous, or angry or rude.
Come on guess now
I Ashley Rose
am finding my own happiness
by doing service.
You see it was proscribed to me by a comforter.
Someone who legitimately cares for me.
who will always be there, even when I'm crying, and I don't know how to say...
what I Mean, they will always understand, me.
I Ashley Rose
am finding my own happiness
by living the way I want to live,
by living up to what I'm meant to be
by doing what I need to do...
to help others on their way.
so that I can improve.
I can always change into who I want to be
Not what, someone else wants me to be.
I Ashley Tomkinson
am on the path to Happiness.

Turn Around

I want to change
I want to improve
To be better,
Not just for me,
for my future family,
and of course my family now.
I'm so grateful that I can.
That I have this amazing chance
To change, for the better.
....IDK if this is really good, but....:D do not judge me ;D

c.o.d.a.

Let me first explain to you, in case you don't know what a c.o.d.a. is... it's a child, of, deaf, adults, or adult. :D
Being a coda, is pretty much being a different race. Not meaning that in a typical way, whether you're Mexican, Latino, African-American, Native American, European, Asian, and many other nationalities, were all the same. Because... were different. I personally love being a coda, knowing a whole other language, that is spoken silently. To be involved in the deaf culture, and I'm thankful for my parents.
My parents, somewhat, pardon the language, went through hell. To give me the life, which I have now. They were out-casts, because they couldn't fully understand people, because they were "scary". But I think the reason why people were afraid of them, was because they are different. And I LOVE them for that.
My parents were raised orally. My mom went to a school, in California, where I think they had a very tiny small deaf program, and it was midstream. My Dad was sent off to a boarding school, for the deaf and blind.....(btw don't ask me how that worked) Their parents did the best thing they could for them at that, time and age.
PART OF THE DEAF CULTURE
personally for my family, and a couple others, we have some common expectations, of the deaf culture. That is in our blood.:D
- Being the first to arrive.
- Being the last one to leave.
- Chatting forever! I love this, because then I can chill with my friends forever!
- Being basically friends, with all deaf people.
- Blunt.
- Not being afraid to tell someone they're bugging you.
- of course ASL! :D
Well that's only a little bit, of my life.... I love the deaf people in my life, and I'm proud of it... :D

My first post!

I cannot believe, that the first Month of summer is gone.
I'm so happy that I didn't waste any day. I enjoyed every single day. whether it be on vacation, or it's at a sleep over, or chilling at my house.
:D
On my vacations, they're spiritual, or silly. :D
I think my first vacation, was Martins cove. That was just an amazing experience. The story of the LDS pioneers, who gave up their lives, their time, and their personal belongings. For the sake of the faith, that we both share. I hope that one day I will have the same amount of faith that they have. :D I'm really happy that we had amazing leaders, my "Ma & Pa" were the best temporary parents, I could ask for. :D and my siblings, cousins, Aunt and Uncle. Were just amazing, whether it be, chiling around the camp fire laughing, and teasing. Or in Matins Cove, I always enjoyed all of their company.
My second vacation was pretty darn amazing too! :D First my sister and her husband drove us down to Moab, to catch up with my legitimate parents. When we arrived my mom, left us her credit card, and said that dinner was on her! we went searching throughout the town, looking for a bite to eat. When we came across a small diner. Which actually turned out to be my favorite place to have dinner or lunch :D. In Moab, I gotta socialize a lot with deaf people, and find out many things, like finding out that my friends uncle is missing his left index finger. ;D. But there was also the beautiful land scaping, and the prime dirt hill. :D
The rest of the first month, was spent having camp fires at friends houses, having sleepovers, and watching, "Thunder Cats." in my friends basement. :D "HO-O!" haha! best 80's cartoon show, next to "HE-Man" :D
I hope I don't waste the next two months of my summer. :D